Living In the Presence of God

Monday morning broke cold and dreary.  Thoughts of the cold bedroom floor made it difficult to escape from the clutches of the warm blankets on my bed.  After laying there for just five more minutes, the blankets finally lost their grip.  I hopped across the hardwood floors to the cold tile of the bathroom in as few steps as possible, lighting on the rug in front of my sink.  I did not want to start the day or the week.  I quickly washed my face, threw on some clothes, and made my way upstairs to wake the kids.  From their responses, I gathered they were having the same trouble I was that morning.  As we all grumpily made our way to the school room after eating breakfast, we found it hard to be pleasant with each other.  The day proceeded this way, bickering, fighting, tattling, and me responding grumpily by disciplining everyone for everything.  By dinner time, everyone was on a razor’s edge.  We were all jumping down each other’s throats for minor offenses.  Then my precious husband called to tell me he was going to be late.  On the phone he lamented, “Traffic is backed up on Charles Blvd.  It’s going to take me an extra fifteen minutes to get home.”  Oh great!  I thought to myself, Now dinner is going to be cold!

After dinner, I hopped into the car to take my son to swim practice following the same route my husband had taken earlier that evening.  We saw the cause of the traffic jam.  A small Honda had crashed into an SUV.  Both cars were completely mangled.  Large flood lights had been set up, and fire trucks and tow trucks were working to get the road cleared.  It was a mess.  Tragedy had obviously occurred that night.  Later we learned that the Honda had crossed the center line and smashed head on into the SUV.  Both drivers were killed.  The next day it seemed every driver in Greenville had been sobered by the accident.  Cars avoided switching lanes, the speed of the traffic was noticeably slower, and everyone acted a bit more courteous.  It seemed as though we were all contemplating the deaths of the drivers and were carefully trying to avoid their fate. 

Today, after a week has passed and the obligations of life have pushed the thoughts of death out of our heads, the rush of traffic has resumed back to its hectic pace.  I tend to respond in my Christian faith in a similar fashion.  When the new year comes around, I am reminded of my need for a vital growing faith.  I make resolutions to read the Bible and pray regularly.  However, come February the excitement wears off and I find myself consumed with daily life and forget or neglect the time I had planned to spend getting to know my savior.  I don’t think God desires short-lived courteous driving or often neglected resolutions, but rather a living, active, growing relationship with Him. 

In my Bible reading this week, I came across the passage of the parable of the ten virgins who were instructed to wait for the bridegroom.  Five of the virgins were prepared with enough oil in their lamps.  However, five were not prepared and therefore were not allowed into the marriage feast.  In this parable Jesus illustrates the fact that Christians need to be prepared for Jesus’ return.  I am so tempted to respond to this passage by making sure I have my Christian to-do list in order.  Included on this list would be items like: 1. Read my Bible each day.  2. Be patient with my kids.  3.  Be loving toward my husband, and on and on it would go.  When I have tried to keep a list like this, I have invariably gotten frustrated and felt like a failure when I fell short of the items I had planned to check off.  As a result I give up the to-do list and go about living my life as usual.  When Jesus told this parable, He was not asking me to keep a spiritual checklist that would set me up for failure.  Instead He wants me to completely and totally surrender my whole life to Him, trusting Him fully, and falling more deeply in love with Him.   I love the way Ann Voskamp put it in her blog post this week.  She posted beautiful pictures of the Niagara falls, and artfully described the ice that was being chipped away by the rush of water, which caused it to go careening over the edge of the cliff.  She posted, “The way to fall in love with God is to surrender to the fall.”

Surrendering to the fall means a complete and total surrender to God’s will.  It means viewing my grumpy Mondays with thankfulness instead of bitter resentment.  Living in God’s presence means surrendering my plans to the Lord.  It means responding to any and all circumstances that He places in my life with contented thankfulness.  How thankful I am that it wasn’t my husband’s SUV that was crushed in that awful accident, but what if it had been?  Would I grieve with hope...or as one with no hope?  Is how I am responding to the cold floor, the grumpy children, and the cold dinner how I would respond to tragedy in my life?  Or am I so in tune with my maker, walking in his presence, that I would see his finger prints on even the tragic details of my life?  I want to desire a peace that passes understanding because I am basking in His presence, seeking his will, and enjoying His plans as I watch them unfold in my life.  I will only be able to attain this if I can fully come to grips with the fact that God works all things in my life together for my good (Rom. 8:28).  Oh Lord Jesus, help me to surrender to the fall.