Living In the Presence of God

One crisp Saturday morning in October, after the sun, pouring in through the windows, had ample time to warm the living room, our drowsy kids made their way down the stairs eager to see dad after he had spent a few days away at the Catalyst leadership conference.  He lured them onto the couch by pulling up on his computer some of the crazy skits and silly videos he experienced during the conference.  After getting their attention, he poured into his children the challenging insights he had gleaned over the past few days...challenging insights that encouraged young leaders to make their lives count for eternity.  One presentation, in particular, captured his heart, and he hoped it would capture their hearts as well.  He told them a story of a nine-year-old girl who asked her friends and family to donate the money they would have spent on her birthday to an organization called Charity Water.  She set a goal to raise $300.00, which would help fifteen villagers have access to clean water.  He stopped his story to show them this video.  Because of this young girl’s untimely death, instead of $300.00, she raised over 1.2 million dollars.  Instead of fifteen people, she helped over 63,000 people. 

This story struck a cord with us because we had begun to notice a trend with our teenage children.  Throughout the year, our kids put many of the gadgets and toys they had gotten for Christmas, up on eBay.  The money they gained from the sales they used to buy the latest and greatest gadgets and toys.  We had taken several opportunities to share with them our concern that they were being taken in by marketing and a desire to have more.  After watching the video, we asked our kids to consider donating some of their Christmas money to Charity Water.  My husband said, “You don’t have to give me an answer now, but think about it. Let’s get together tomorrow afternoon, and you can let me know what you would like to do.” The kids went upstairs to the playroom, closed the door, and spent a long time discussing their options.  After church the next day, while eating Mexican food, we asked the kids if they wanted to share with us what they decided about Christmas this year.  Our oldest said, “We decided that we would like to donate ALL of our Christmas money to Charity Water.”  We did not expect that at all.  We had thought they would say, $25.00 each or something in that range, but not all of it!  Both my husband and I were blown away.  With tears filling our eyes, we told them how proud we were.

A couple of months later, when December hit, I started to second guess the kid’s decision to donate all of their Christmas money.  I felt lost without the task of buying presents on my plate.  I began to wonder what we were going to do on Christmas morning. I googled, “Christmas without presents” or “What to do if you don’t have presents to open on Christmas morning.”  As I clicked on blogs, many of the responses included statements like, “It is wrong to deny your kids presents on Christmas.”  The guilt started to set in.  What had we done? I talked with the kids about their thoughts on this, and they stood firm.  They still wanted to donate the money.  Why was this such a struggle for me, and not for them?  The week before Christmas came, and I found myself very relaxed and able to enjoy baking cookies, going to parties, and spending time watching movies with my kids.  I did not experience the frazzled feeling that usually overcame me during this week.  Christmas morning came, and the kids opened their presents from each other and from relatives.  They had plenty of presents under the tree.  After the last present was opened, my husband had the kids sit around the dining room table, and he pulled up Charity Water’s website. He clicked on the link and donated the money we had set aside for their Christmas presents. One click and it was done. No one cried or seemed disappointed. Our celebration of Christmas was just as sweet as any other Christmas.

So why had I struggled? As I reflected on the conflict in my soul, I realized that I believed I had the job of protecting my kids from disappointment. I thought if my kids were disappointed by the lack of gifts, it would ruin our Christmas celebration. Through this experience I began to realize that God calls me as a parent to help my kids walk through disappointment.  When their friends treat them badly, instead of trying to shelter them from the pain, I should take time to walk them through how to respond.  When they get a bad grade on a test, instead of explaining away their failure, I should help them learn from their mistakes.  When they disobey or sin, instead of excusing it, I should discipline them and point them to their need for a savior.  When I decide not to allow them to go to an event that “all” their friends are attending, instead of giving in to peer pressure, I should walk them through submission.  It is not my job as a parent to shelter my kids from the disappointment, the discipline, and the difficult experiences they have to face.  Rather, I should point them to an awesome God, who has brought every single situation into their lives to point them to Him. Dealing with disappointment was my struggle this Christmas, but it has helped me to be resolved to help my kids walk through their disappointments, rather than attempting to shelter them from them.