Living In the Presence of God

One Friday afternoon, after we finished up a full day of school, the kids and I decided to make a run to the local Wal-Mart to purchase items for a gourmet dinner for two.  We bought cream cheese, crab meat, and pita points; all the fixings for a fancy salad; bread; salmon steaks; two kinds of wine (red and white); two individual cheesecake slices; fresh flowers and white tapered candles.   After we had collected all the food for the gourmet meal, the kids set about selecting the Lunchable of their choice.  By the time we got home it was already 4:00.  We had a lot to do in a short period of time, but we were pretty sure we could pull off the surprise before daddy got home at 6:00.  We got the antique china and stemware down from the cabinet and dusted off two place settings.  As I began to blend the cream cheese and the crab meat together to make the crab dip, my ten year old, started cutting up the vegetables for the fancy salad and neatly arranged them on the salad plates.  My eight year old carefully sliced the bread and put butter slices on the butter dishes.  My six year old took the lunchables up to the playroom and arranged them on the folding table with napkins and silverware.  The four year old started to set the table, but then became distracted by the cartoons on the TV in the living room.  So far so good.

The boys carefully arranged the bread dishes and salad plates on the table.  After I got the salmon ready to saute in a white wine garlic sauce, I went upstairs to put on my favorite black dress, high heels, and red lipstick.  The kids decided to change their clothes too.  The boys dressed up like waiters, in white shirts and black pants.  The girls put on their Easter dresses.  We turned on some romantic music and lit the candles.  My six year old carefully got the cheesecake out of the box and placed a slice on each dessert plate.  Once slice might have fallen on the floor, but we didn't mention that to anyone.  We took the crab dip out of the oven and placed the toasted pita points around the plate.   The girls stood by the front window waiting for daddy's car to pull up in the driveway.  When it did, they squealed with excitement and peered out of the garage door waiting for him to get out of his car.

When he walked up the garage steps, they asked him to lean over so they could cover his eyes with their hands.  They carefully escorted him up the back stairs so he couldn't see the surprise.  "Patiently," the girls waited outside his bedroom door as he washed up after his long day.  After he finished, they each took him by the hand and escorted him downstairs to the candle lit dining room, soft music playing.  They carefully led him to his seat, and when he sat down, they placed the cloth napkin in his lap.  Shortly afterward, they brought me in with a sly little grin on my face.  He told me how beautiful I was and how marvelous the dining room looked.   He even remarked about the flowers placed in the vase in the middle of the table.

After a few minutes of chatting, one of the handsome waiters walked in the room with a white napkin draped over his arm and handed his daddy a menu.  My husband noticed our favorite appetizer on the menu, and asked if we could try that.  Within a few seconds the appetizer was placed before us and the waiter asked if we would like some water in our cups.  Two giggling girls came in and asked if we needed anything.  I told them, "We are fine, you can go upstairs and eat your lunchables now."  Without a moments hesitation, they were upstairs eating.  The boys took turns bringing in each course of our meal while the girls came giggling downstairs at intervals to ask us if we needed anything.  We asked for napkins or bread and they ran to get what we needed and then ran back upstairs.  When one of our waiters brought in the dessert, I asked him to start the movie for the girls, so we could talk in peace.  After the movie had begun, we moved into the living room with our wine glasses and chatted, reconnecting after a long week.  

This date night, one of the first of many, remains a potent illustration in my mind of all the significant benefits of making a priority of dating in our marriage relationship.  Not only did my husband feel loved and special, but our kids were able to participate in the excitement of a special date between a husband and a wife.  When I have guilt feelings leaving the kids home with a pizza while I enjoy a nice dinner, I have been able to look back on that night and see that I am not only building my marriage, but I am also helping our kids to begin to build their marriages, even before they are married.  My husband deserves the credit for keeping this a priority in our marriage.

Since the beginning of our marriage, my husband has been diligent about pursuing me.  I tend to be more reserved and hidden with my emotions.  [These are just code words for the true fact that I am afraid of showing my emotions because I might get hurt.]  My reserved nature has not stopped my husband, however.  He has taken the time over the years to slowly peal away the layers of pain, fear, and pride, by confronting me, loving me, and pursuing me even when I have been obstinate and have tried to reject his attempts.  He has done this by connecting with me each night after dinner and each week on our date night. 

From the time our kids were babies, we tried to make a point to eat dinner together as a family.  After finishing the meal, my husband made sure we spent at least 15 or 20 minutes each night connecting without interruption from our little ones.  At first, it was hard for our kids to understand what "without interruption" meant, but after several nights of interruptions they finally got the message.  I can distinctly remember my husband telling the kids, "If you don't see blood, then it isn't a good reason to interrupt us."  At first it was hard for me to push aside the guilt of not attending to their needs (which were actually just wants).  But after 17 years of connecting with my husband each night, I am thankful for the closeness that I have with him, and I am thankful for the message that it has sent to our kids.  They know we love each other and they feel secure within our stable marriage and family. 

Tonight, on Valentines Day, my husband has planned a surprise for me.  I am pretty excited, I bought a new outfit, and have picked out some red lipstick to match.  The kids don't have same enthusiasm or excitement as teenagers as they did when our oldest was ten, but the same message is being caught....Love, when nurtured, abounds even in marriage.